"Beneath the Feeders"
by Aaron Blue McCort

Flickering light dances across the walls of the small room. Serpentine rays of blinding white light blend to blue and then into gold along the obscure outer edges of their translucent spectral bodies. The radiant waves undulate seductively and penetrate my closed eyelids. Light swims through my body, firing from neuron to neuron and enveloping my brain like a humming, fluorescent blanket. The buzzing energy slowly turns my brain on its axis and my body follows behind; hovering and rotating, I am weightless. I begin my journey floating forward--face down into a black abyss of nothingness. A fragment of cognition to the world remains, and I slightly open one eye to see the small aquarium before me, the source of the soothing light, with its silvery inhabitants swimming carelessly throughout. My eye closes, and I resign myself to fall off into the oblivion of a dreamless sleep. It feels less like sleep and more like a merciful, painless suffocation.
I don’t know what initially gave me the idea of buying the aquarium for my bedroom. Fish seemed like pleasant, low-maintenance companions and a relaxing, natural solution to the insomnia which has plagued me recently. I’ve never had problems with sleep in the past and with the overwhelming workload I’ve had lately, I should be exhausted at the end of the day. But the work seems to be the source of the problem. The busier I become, the more aware I am of the meaningless toil of it all. Artistic accomplishments provide only a momentary sense of satisfaction and purpose, which is quickly followed by a more profound sensation of worthlessness and despair.
I don’t necessarily lie at night thinking of these things, to me it just an obvious reality of existence. Actually, I seem to lie at night thinking of nothing, just feeling the smothering pressure of a vacuum-like world all around me. The past: a dead body lying on my back that I’m forced to drag about, weighing me down. The future: a buzzing beehive of indifference, slowly robbing me of oxygen and contaminating my blood. And I lie there just wanting to fall asleep and longing not to waken.

For a moment, I find a temporary solace with my new fish friends. But my thoughts soon engulfed the imaginary sanctuary that my fish tank had created. Black phantoms of paranoia, despair and discontent quickly swallow up the light like ink being dripped into water. At the moment, the only pathetic solution my bewildered mind could come up with was to buy larger aquariums--which I did--several of them. And with each new purchase, as the gallons increased all around me, my peace of mind was granted slightly extended intervals and my sleep that much more restful. Nevertheless, even after removing all furniture to accommodate the massive tanks of water, the demons eventually found their way back. And besides, I was out of money.

After days without sleep, I sat with my back against the cold wall staring hopelessly about my humid, cluttered room at the swirling little fish all around me. At that moment a uniquely beautiful little Sparkling Gourami seemed to catch my eye. As all the other fish moved about him he seemed to stand perfectly still, as if he was staring directly at me. I came off my bed and onto my knees in front of the aquarium, and as I pressed my nose against the glass, the little fish still looked me in the eyes. And then I heard the tiny fish say to me…”the zoo…the zoooo”, and I said to myself, of course!

It was utter bliss I felt upon entering our city’s aquarium exhibit. It was arranged in a labyrinth of long, dark rooms, and each room had a sheer wall of glass opposite tall carpeted stairs. I sat down, my mouth gaping as my eyes followed Sea Turtles, Tiger Sharks and giant Manta Rays that slowly floated down like majestic angels. The aquarium boasted some of the loveliest coral I ever seen, all of which housed Golden Butterfly Fish, strangely marked Triggerfish and brilliantly colored Yellow and Purple Tangs that playfully darted about coral. For the first time in several days I felt relaxation sweep over me and weight being lifted from my chest like some tremendous, toxic tumor disintegrating into air. I lay down and went to sleep.
On the seventh day of being awakened by the security guard, I was taken to the guard house and my personal information written down. The guards then informed me that I wasn’t to return to the zoo for six months and if I returned before that period I would be barred much longer. I desperately informed them of my condition and what the aquarium meant to me, but was told that the zoo was no place for sleeping and that I was scaring the children. Apparently, I was prone to violent spastic fits during my sleep which I was unaware. They told me to see a doctor and sent me on my miserable way.

It now being two weeks into my chronic insomnia, and my mind and body was deteriorating at a rapid pace. I wandered my town in a zombie-state, my body carrying me from place to place with by some sort of instinctual navigation reflex, for my conscious mind was completely unaware of my surroundings. One moment I would be sitting at work, blink my eyes, and be miles away with no memory of moving. I forgot my friends’ names and I forgot to eat. I hoped that drinking alcohol at night would put me to sleep, but sleep did not come and the alcohol only seemed to intensify my mind’s demented state and caused unpredictable, frenzied outbursts. Maybe it WAS time to see a doctor.

After another day of trance-walking, I dragged my body up the long steps to my apartment and I stopped to pick up my mail. Inside was a most unusual postcard, one with a dark etching of bizarre, unidentifiable creatures. The opposite side of the card read: Come see Dr. Wahrheit’s traveling deep-sea show! Dr. Wahrheit, the world’s foremost Marine Biologist who (with a carefully picked staff of top scientist) has spanned the world finding and capturing the most exotic and unique sea creatures the man has never seen. And now, with the aid of his state of the art, mobile laboratory, he travels away from his native Germany once again, to share with you the rewards of his findings. It is an experience like none other, and YOU are invited to this exclusive, one-time event.

Next was written a date and an address on the outskirts of town, an area in which I was vaguely familiar. I reread the card and gently, kind of—slapped myself in the face. This doesn’t seem quite right, I said aloud.

As I was driving out of town, I had a difficult time staying focused on the road. This area was always referred to as the old warehouse district and was sparsely populated by a few ruined cement structures with no trees. The flat land gave the impression that one could see for hundreds of miles. I pulled off onto a gravel road that I though was the address, and the parking lot, which housed a bus and a few other cars, was many yards away from the enormous cement factory that I assumed was the exhibit’s location.
As I walked, I felt strange sensations. The strong wind was hot, then suddenly cold—then hot again. I looked down at the dusty, stone ground and thought that this place looked more like Death Valley than Ohio. Each time I looked up it seemed the curious cement building was further away.

Finally, I arrived at the entrance, and above the tremendous metal doors hung a gigantic banner that said “WAHRHEIT.” 
The foremost scientist, Dr. Wahrheit, I chuckled.
Inside, the dark warehouse was enormous. It was like the space I traveled outside had transferred indoors. I could see light and some sort of busy activity in the distance, so I felt I was in the right place and near my destination.
As I neared, the enormity of the aquarium was indescribable. I took notice that the entire warehouse was pitch black, but my way was being led by the internal light of the enormous glass tank in the distance, even from at least 50 yards away! And then I was upon it, and there was a considerable crowd, packed shoulder to shoulder blocking the view.
It was that moment, that I noticed all of the spectators were children. All seemed to be of equal age and were dressed identically, in sort of private school uniforms with crest. There were hundred of them and not an adult in sight!
The sea of children, who rocked back and forth eagerly pushing one another for closer access to the aquarium had me momentarily distracted. When I finally turned my eyes upward to the aquarium I gasped.
Seals, Giant Turtles, Sharks, Squids, Rays, Octopi, Manatees, Jellyfish, Narwhals, Dolphins; they all filed the aquarium. There were fresh-water and salt-water fish all intermingling, some were burst open and dead. There were Piranha and Penguins, Sea Cucumbers and Starfish. I was stunned to see fish that in the past I knew only from illustrations—deep sea fish, like eerie, alien Brotulids and long beaked Chimaera. There were horrifying, demon-like Anglers, Vipers, and Dragonfish. And there were the dark phantom Gulpers, with enormous black mouths, beady white eyes and skinny barbed tails. And there were so many others that I can only identify as Otherworldly!
The infinite variety of exotic fish wasn’t necessarily what was shocking about the spectacle, it was the quantity of fish stuffed in the aquarium. The tank was filled so beyond capacity that the fish could barely move. It gave the illusion of one solid mass, like an unstable mountain whose soil crumbles under a quake, shifting an occasional loose stone back and forth. I can only imagine how many unknown species of fish were hidden behind the pulsating layers aquatic bodies.
I noticed several grisly occurrences in the tank, like when a medium sized fish wiggled itself into position to bite into the lower half of a large, bright Clownfish. The smaller fish pushed itself forward through the mass of thrashing bodies, working itself upward on the Clownfish. And it then pressed down hard on its jaws, till the Clownfish slowly swelled and its eyeballs burst out, it’s innards blasting against the glass, much to the howling delight of the children.
Horrible!
Then, the children all raised their hands into the air, looked up to the ceiling and cheered. Looking up I noticed for the first time that along the wall, above the aquarium was a deep recessed landing. And at this moment, there was a huge truck with a tipping bed, backing up above the rim of the aquarium .Out of the truck bed came flopping gigantic, steaming heaps of unidentifiable gore. Out fell thick, rope-like fibrous strands of peachy skin, white sinew and splattering, gleaming blood. Out poured gigantic heaps of filthy flesh, like strands of balled-up, coiled, bloody rubber bands with coarse black hair entwined. The mass of gore just flopped on top of the immense body of fish, and barely splashed into the water. The meat then slowly started to sink. The blood sent the fish into a mad frenzy, and the ground shook under my feet. I feared that the glass would come bursting forward at any moment. The children continued their appreciative, disturbing howl.

It was then, that I momentarily was distracted by a movement from a corridor to the right of the aquarium. I fleetingly saw a man duck into a hidden door, and it wasn’t too difficult to break away from the roaring children and hideous fish to investigate. Once through the door I found myself staring down long brightly lit hallways spreading off in several directions. I continued forward. I trudged onward being very aware of the acidic air that burned my eyes, when I came to a door at the end of the long narrow hallway. The second I entered the door I was grabbed behind each arm by two large, darkly clad men. I felt helpless as they dragged my weak body by each arm down a long corridor. There were rooms along the corridor with glass windows and I thought I could see people or what I thought were people behind the glass, but I was being dragged too quickly to know for sure.

We finally came to a door and the goons knocked. “Dr Wahrheit?” they said. So, I would finally meet the beast behind these horrors. “Come in” I heard, and they dragged me through the door. “Drop him and leave”. They did as he said.
I found myself on the floor near the door, in a large, windowless cement room, with only a desk in the distance. The Doctor was standing with his back to me, his hand on the desk.
“Why did you come here?”
“I received an invitation”.

He quickly walked toward me, and he didn’t look anything like I expected. He was tall and gaunt with a white hair and gray skin. He had a hawk face and is eyes were sunken and tired. But the countenance of his expression seemed sad and sympathetic.
“Why…why did you come HERE?”
“Because I like aquariums…I--I was curious?”
“I’m asking the questions”.
“I…..”
“Where do you think you belong?”
“What do you mean?…I…”

“Guards, feed him to them!”

The goons came back in and dragged me away. Wahrheit watched as they dragged me down the corridor and he shook his head in disgust as he brought his hands up to his temples. They dragged me into a room and stripped me of my clothes, The air stung. I was too weak to fight. They pushed me through the door and I recognized the room as the large entrance with the aquarium. I was above the aquarium. I could hear the roar of the children.
Without hesitation, they pushed me off a ledge and I fell into the tank. 
I sat, without sinking on the flesh dumped earlier on top of the thrashing fish. I thought I could walk off on top of their bodies, but the second I stood my foot slid into the fish and I began to sink.
Stupid!

At this moment, I couldn’t move, as both legs were tendrils within the mass. I could feel the fish nipping away at my toes. The children howled. I panicked and fought but then sunk further into the writhing mass of slippery creatures. I was sunk up to my neck, my face swollen with blood, as they continued to chew at my toes and I began to feel pain.
And the children roared.

Then I was beneath the water with them, getting knocked back and forth as their frenzy reached its crescendo. And once I felt pressed tight with the tremendous mass of bodies, I no longer feared being eaten alive, for I knew I would soon drown before experiencing any real ghastly pain. And I kept my eyes closed as I felt the air being drained out of me. Then my nude body was pushed downward further and I could feel myself press against the glass. So I opened my eyes for one last fleeting moment. And I saw the children, in a fighting fury, battling their way to the glass to watch me breathe my final breath. And the children kicked and punched, and one young boy gouged at the eye of his companion and made his way to the front and pressed his face to the glass. We were face to face, and he stared me in the eye. He was smiling.